The file for number 834 begins in 2009. “There is currently a site fence around the group of figures. Various repairs are visible. The boy is missing and is currently being reproduced.”

Subject: Green family. No monument, but art, in the care of the Potsdam company monument preservation Roland Schulze. You can read the vandalism story on their website. Or in the PNN. Most recently, the boy was damaged or dismantled again.

That’s why 834 should no longer just be repaired or rebuilt – but moved. I like that. Although I have to come out here: I’m not really a fan of the old-fashioned ceramic sculpture. The remnant of the GDR eighties, when a family stroll through the boulevard of the district capital was considered the highest art of Sunday entertainment, may be protected, and for some people memories are attached to it – but I never get sentimental about the troupe on the boulevard .

But that’s no reason to break them either. I could have imagined video surveillance really well, with a pretty fence and a sign saying: “Caution, the area within this fence is under video surveillance”.

That worked in Speyer. The press reported last week that Helmut Kohl’s grave has been undamaged and peaceful, fenced in and monitored for five years. Helmut Kohl’s son would like him to move anyway, while the city of Speyer now only wants the fence removed – so not everything is comparable.

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The Potsdam Grün family, who keep getting pissed off, should not be monitored – perhaps because of the proximity of their current location to the old Stasi prison. In this respect I support the search for a new location. Proposals are still being collected for this, the city hall announced.

Where could the Green family move to?

I think the future location should not only be safe, but also help to strengthen the identification of Potsdam citizens with the nuclear family, which is still the best form of vandalism prevention. There are a lot of places that could do that, and here are my suggestions:

1. Off to the town hall and in the queue at the citizen service. That is my favourite.

2. The queue in front of the Potsdamer Tafel – would be honest, but a bit sad. Or? Here I am still undecided.

3. The Potsdam Museum, of course, preferably in the foyer between the columns that are covered with Hedwig Bollhagen tiles. Strong artistic reference.

4. Before the resurrected Minsk. That fits nicely into the retro structure and I bet the Hasso can even do it with surveillance, in such a way that we don’t notice anything.

5. In front of the fire station, with the helmet and accessories of the volunteer comrades – this choice of location is self-explanatory.

6. Take a nine-euro ticket to a Potsdam tram. Go green!

7. Ask Ms Baerbock if she wants to put the Greens in her office window. Or, 8., on Mr. Scholz’s chancellor’s balcony, surveillance would definitely be included there.

9. In front of the Thalia cinema, studying the program posters.

10 With its lush greenery, the small family fits perfectly into the biosphere, for example at the carp pond, but unfortunately that would only be a temporary solution. On the other hand, provisional solutions often last the longest…